The waitress was old

and not really friendly.

Kinda like the fries.

Wrinkled and cold.

I asked politely for a table

Away from the smoke.

With distain she said,

"That some kind of joke?"

I said, "Then anywhere's  fine."

"The counter's OK

A booth or a table.

Or how 'bout a chair with a tray."

I could tell

My humor was lost.

Like the wilted salad,

I was about to be tossed.

She slapped the menu

On a rickety old table.

Then said, "I'll get ya some water ..."

"Whenever I'm able."

She strode toward the kitchen

Trailed by swirls of smoke.

I figured it was best to be quiet

Not ask for a Coke.

When she returned

I ordered a burger and fries.

With catsup to match ...

The color of her eyes.

Then I waited and waited

For an interminable time.

As she told the cashier

How her weekend was fine.

As your can imagine

The food wasn't so hot.

But I didn't complain

I knew it was for naught.

Well the burger was alright

And the price was real cheap.

Though when I left

She called me a creep.

For you see ...

I left with her tip

A short little note.

I have to admit.

"I may not be the best customer.

But this I can tell

I've been to the Commercial.

And met the waitress from Hell."

                                              - Dan Turner  5/17/06

                                  Elko, Nevada